Regarding child custody the law can still be very unfair for same sex parents and that is why it is vital that you try to reach a compromise on all child related matters and try to avoid a custody battle in Court. If you are able to agree on the major issues such as legal custody, visitation and child support you will save yourselves and your kids a great amount of stress. If you are unable to reach an agreement you will have to submit your case to court keeping in mind that the law is different from state to state and not always in favor of gay parents.
If both are legal parents because the child was born into a marriage or any other union in a state that confers rights to the non-biological parent; if the non-biological parent adopted the child or if both parents adopted the child then the case should be handled like any other divorce analyzing every factor in order to determine what is in the child’s best interest.
In the case of only one parent being the child’s legal parent, things might be even more complicated. Indeed, in many states, the non-legal parent has no rights and won’t be able to request either legal or physical custody or even visitation rights. In these cases the second parent won’t have any financial obligation towards the child, even though most parents will choose to participate financially.
However, even if the second non-legal parent is often not protected, some courts have decided to recognize second parents on the basis of their intent to conceive and raise children and of their established relationship with these children. If you are facing this situation we advise you to get the opinion of an experienced lawyer who knows the law and is also familiar with the local judges because the outcome will very much depend on which judge hears your case. Also, you should make sure you keep your child’s best interest in mind. Be aware of his/her emotional needs prior to yours and if you are the legal parent don’t deny shared custody just because you’d rather not have contact with your ex partner anymore. Ask yourself what is morally the right thing to do. And do what is best for your child!